Friday, January 20, 2012

Press.. "Pause"


What a week I've had!  I was blindsided ... blown out of the water...


by two interactions with individuals.  Seriously.  I know I'm not the 


only one to have this happen to but when it does, my jaw drops 


open and I'm left dumbfounded.  It feels like in the movie, Private


Benjamin, where Goldie Hawn's platoon is reprimanded, having


to march in the pouring rain, in full gear, with all angry eyes on HER.


.. and words spoken with such disdain towards HER.


She's dumbfounded and whines, "That's SO untrue!!" to called out


allegations.  "I NEVER go to someones home empty handed.  People


LIKE me!""   That was exactly how I felt.  


Situation #1~ Last fifteen minutes, on the last day, of an estate sale.  


65 years of accumulation.  LOVE this!  And my question?  Would you


consider striking a deal on the sheet music that is still left?  Music was


this woman's passion as she had accumulated stacks of it.  There was


still a goodly amount left and a gentleman who worked there escorted


me to the room still holding these treasures... waiting for the right 


person to take them home.  


Gentleman:  "What do you want for it?" In a bit of a gruff manner.
Me:  "What are you asking?"  .. I needed to know where we were starting from.
Gentleman: "What do want to pay?" Ok.. starting to feel a bit badgered.
        {For your sake, I have not repeated this again two more times.}
Me:  "Hmmm.. I really would prefer you tell me."
Gentleman: "I need to know what you want to pay for it?" .. He's now tense.
Me: (hesitated).. "I'm not sure.  I need to go through the stacks."
Gentleman:  "$200!!!" He spat the words out as quickly as he wanted the 
                    money in his hand.
Me: shocked, amazed and felt I might have detected a bit of facetiousness.
                 "What about $20?""  If he can be facetious, so can I.
Gentleman:  Are you serious? We're done! I'm not talking to you!! 
                  Full blown anger.
Me: "Sir? Let's talk about this."  When someone explodes, I try to diffuse.
Gentleman: "We're done talking!!"
Me: "Sir, if you're not going to talk to me, I might as well leave."
Gentleman: "Good!  Leave!!"
Me: "But we're in the middle of a conversation."
Gentleman:  "No, we're not!  Leave!  Get out!  GET OUT!!!!!"


The woman in charge had heard the altercation and apologized saying he


had a rough day.  Hey, buddy, join the club!  I've never been thrown out


of any place.  Embarrassed, befuddled, angry, I drove back home.


Press Pause ~ When I stepped back from the situation, I could picture


how he had reached the point of having a short fuse.  I have witnessed 


people coming in at those last hours of a sale and try to get things for 


pennies.  Bargaining with an attitude.  Not a fun job.  Unfortunately, I


was on the receiving end of his frustration and was not given a 


chance to explain my response. There is no excuse for being rude or


mean-spirited but sometimes we need to step back and understand


where another person's frustrations stem from. 


Situation #2 ~  To reward you for reading thus far, I will make this


one brief!  I was in charge of keeping tally of a list of products being


introduced at a meeting.  Things were moving quickly and others at


the table were helping me with the count. But it got to the point where 


there were too many "cooks in the kitchen" and I received a verbal


lashing when I corrected someone.  It was pretty biting and again,


I tried to diffuse the situation.  It wasn't going to work.  I bit my 


tongue.  We hugged it out afterwards and that is where I realized I


needed to.....


Press Pause ~  What this person was personally shouldering at home


required strength that she had to give each and every day.  I don't know


if I could do it myself.  And sometimes, when an individual is doing so


much, it just takes one slight push and a fissure opens up to release the 


pressure. 


I don't like confrontations.. they make me horribly uncomfortable.  And 


I won't mislead you to think I am Mary Sunshine and don't dish it right


back at times.  It's awkward, and I don't enjoy it, but we all need to set


boundaries on what is an acceptable and unacceptable way to be treated.


At the same time, we need to dig deep and try to walk in the other 


person's shoes for just a moment.  We just might understand that it's 


not to be taken as a personal affront to our character. 


Two more days and this week is over!  I still might have another chance 


encounter as they say things happen in three's.  But I hope not.  My


poor little arthritic finger can't take much more!!!  All that pressing of that


gosh darn "pause" button!!!!















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